the renegade

Things went wrong,i do not know why
I was just trying to be the catcher in the rye
i wanted to soar high in the sky
but 'coz of your ignorance i'm left to die
and now i realize my success was a lie
a lie which i never wanted to know
a lie which made my spirit so low
a lie which finally made me show
the reasons for my wish to grow
beyond the person i could ever be
i just want to cut the chains and breakfree
from the cobwebs that have gathered around me
it haunts me in every single dream i dream
and finding no other way to protest,i scream
then i find it even harder to go back to sleep
i find myself falling down,going deep
i pretend to be emotionally stable,still,i weep
and pictures from my dark past suddenly creep
in my mind,before my eyes and in my heart
these pictures cut me down and tear me apart
i bleed,i cry,and i wish they'd thwart
but they dont stop,instead the pain has grown
i dont want fake friends.Leave me alone
before i die,for once 'let me live on my own'

REQUIESCAT IN PACE

As we all parted beneath that familiar sky
I knew it was the last meeting as we had to soar high
All those ten years that we have spent together
Are moving in my mind and will be there forever

God knows if we will ever meet again
If ever we'll be able to play in the rain
During the recess and going to classes all wet
Guys!y'all are the best people that i ever met

All those things that we did are are coming back to me
Bunking classes and tellin the teacher"i went to submit the fee"
Eating the tiffin during the classes in a hurry
And hence spilling the whole lunch full of curry

I want to laugh at those things that we did
But then i remember something sad;a kid
Who i sat by in the class,but i barely knew him
for we had never talked,but i do remember his unusual vim

I wish i had more time left at my school
For i wanted to know this kid whom all called fool
I dont know why they called him so
But that kid did not have a single foe

Everyone mocked him and made fun
when he'd had enough,he used to run
Away from those students of my class
He went and hid under the long green grass

Years passed,we all became man of success
we all were living busy lives full of stress
But somehow i got this urge to seek
about the same kid whom we all called a freak

And hence i searched the school records
And found his permanent house address
I went to his house and knocked
a lady came out looking shocked

Then she asked me "who are you"?
"I am andy's friend who couldnt bid adieu"
Then that lady who was looking quite sad
Told me something about that lonely lad

And i came to know that while i've been busy on my success ride
That fool,freak and lonesome kid had committed suicide
I tried in vain to remember his exuberant face
But i could only say "REQUIESCAT IN PACE"

NOTA BENE:requiescat in pace means REST IN PEACE IN LATIN

UNREACHED FEELINGS

Right now i am feeling a bit low
This feeling is like i am trapped in snow
My near ones are worried and sad
And the person inside me is feeling bad

I'm thinking about my dark past
Every event that occured and went so fast
And now i find myself placed in this situation
With fading memories of the past full of fluctuations

Its not that i blame myself for this
But yes!this feeling is certainly not bliss
A part inside me is saying "You are the one
Who left each and everything he tried undone"

Its like an albatross hung around my neck
Apart from ths feeling there's nothing i reck
If only i knew how to redeem
I'd have done anything to retrieve my esteem

These thoughts remind me of my past not so bright
And from nowhere comes this feeling of fright
Exactly then ,i do not know what to do
To become the real me or the person i always wanted to

A NIGHT BEFORE THE DAWN

I LAY STILL ON MY BED
WITH STRANGE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD
I KNOW NOT,IF I WILL SURVIVE THIS NIGHT
'COZ THE DARKNESS HAS GRIPPED ME WITH ALL ITS MIGHT

I WISH I LIVE TO SEE THE NEXT MORNING SUN
I HAVE TO LIVE 'COZ I LEFT THINGS UNDONE
I HAVE TO FINISH MY LIFE'S UNFINISHED BOOK
SO I COULD TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THE ROADS THAT I TOOK

ONCE I'M DONE WITH THE BOOK OF MY LIFE
I'LL HAPPILY PUT DOWN THE PEN AND WILL TAKE THE KNIFE
TO END THIS LIFE WHICH I'VE LIVED WITH SORROW
IN A HOPE THAT I'LL REINCARNATE WITH A BETTER TOMORROW

A TOMORROW WHICH WILL BE FREE FROM SORROW AND FEAR
A TOMOROW WHICH WILL BE FREE FROM GLOOM AND TEARS
A TOMOROW WHOSE STEERING WILL BE IN MY HANDS
A TOMORROW WHICH WILL BE FREE FROM THE SERVILE BANDS

BUT FOR NOW I'LL HAVE TO FIGHT THE DARK
I'LL HAVE TO LIVE TO HEAR THE MORNING LARK
I'LL HAVE TO LIVE WHILE THINGS GO ON
IT IS REALLY A FRIGHTFUL NIGHT BEFORE THE DAWN